Over the past five months or so there has been considerable debate around town about what should be done with NZ's anti-nuclear legislation.

The debate started off when the newly erected leader of NZ's equivalent of a "conservative", right of centre, only ranked at 32% of the total electorate, "natural opposition", National Party (Brash Donny) met with very important people from the US including R. Zoellick.

It was reported (rather unusually by Auntie Helen herself ) that among the matters considered at that meeting was the impact of our anti-nuclear legislation on security and potential free trade arrangements between our two nations. It was recorded (and reported verbatim) by Ministry of Foreign Affairs "minders" that Donny's reply was "When the National Party is elected I will make sure that legislation is gone by lunchtime." (did I say"erected" before?)

Hang on, hang on, hang on. This is just the warm-up.

Donny must have done something right, because he has just today returned from a reciprocal trip to the shores of the US, and to Washington where he met with very important people, including Mr Zoellick. As we are naturally curious people, our news media made sure that he was properly interviewed upon his return, and that the reasons for his trip were proper and justified.

Donny has been explaining, very patiently and carefully, that it was made clear to him in the US that the prospect of a free trade agreement would have to be passed through Congress; and that the anti-nuclear legislation was not directly referred to by the very important people that he had met. In fact, it was almost as if he was trying to give the impression that the US was somewhat surprised and chastened by NZ's treatment of the British at Carisbrook last Saturday night. It now seems that removal of NZ's anti-nuclear legislation "might help" in the negiotiation of a free trade agreement.

It is now National party Policy that the anti-nuclear legislation will not be changed or removed by a National government "before lunchtime" (should that their erection ever come to pass) until there had been a "full and proper education process" and a referendum. (In case you miss it, that is the first part of the joke, the punchline is coming...).

But even if the legislation were removed, and an invitation sent for the US navy to visit in force, that invitation would be for surface vessels only.

(In case you miss it, here comes the punchline).

The only nuclear powered surface vessels, of any consequence, remaining in the US navy are the Nimitz class aircraft carriers.

There is no port in NZ that you could get one of those carriers into. The closest you could get with safety - fifteen miles out past Rangitoto for Auckland, hove-to in the middle of Cook Strait for Wellington. Our harbours are too shallow, too small to accomodate them.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D