An afterthought on Schiavo

I posted this as a comment here

"Interesting the contrast between your reports of the Schiavo "affair", and the death of Sr Ann Constance (may she rest in peace).

I can but wonder what lengths the Catholic Church will take to keep John Paul II alive. Or will they allow him the right to die in the dignity that he so richly deserves?

What drives people to the extent that the Schindlers were driven to keep their daughter alive?

My mother died when I was 16. I was a qualified and registered surf lifesaver, certified in CPR. My father refused my attempts to assist him in keeping her alive. Has that affected me? Yes and no. The best that could have happened would be that we saved her, for her heart to fail yet again in one week, or one month, or one year. The worst that could have happened would be that we kept her alive but with no meaningful future life; no consciousness, no cognitive ability, no communication, no senses. For that reason I was happy to grieve, happy to let her go when she died. [postscript to clarify - the decisions were not mine to make. That was made very clear. My father was very much in charge. I was given the job of calling an ambulance, putting a mattress in the back of our s/wagon, and then driving to meet the ambulance; dad in the back doing cpr on mum.]

My father died of cancer. He was ill and in increasing pain for 18 months. His quality of life during that period? By his own words, "No better than drugs and will-power will allow." After he died, no one ever spoke of the piece of tape on the button of his drug pump. I gave him a very hearty farewell at his funeral - I knew it was what he wanted.

And that really is the crux, isn't it...

Holding on, in selfish grief rather than the joy of release.