The pre-election warm-up...

Sometime in October or Early November, Auntie Helen will (unless in the interim she can by some miracle change our "Constitution") be taking a limo trip to Government House (official residence of the GG) to tender her resignation as PM and to announce the intention for the General Elections to be held on a date not later than two months hence.

As in 1939, the troops are already gathering and lines being drawn in the sand. As in 1939, the propaganda machines are cranking up. As in 1939, the deep covert structures are being put in place.

But that is as far as I can take that parallel to WW2. Doesn't really work for me either... but to pass onward.

Already shots have been fired between most parties and NZ First. Of course, as Winnie is a coalition partner to both sides, both are being very careful to pull their shots. Auntie Helen aiming very short of the mark, and the Jonkey aiming far to the left in the hope that Auntie Helen might cop a stray one. The only one aiming for Winnie is in fact the YellowJacket and he can afford to as ACT's only claim to fame at the moment is Rodney the YellowJacket himself. As is his wont, Winnie is fighting fire with fire.

On the left side of the street, the government seems to be keeping its head well below the horizon. Now that is not a position that Auntie Helen would enjoy; it tends to limit the view of the outside world (that is now less important, has been for at least the past two years...), and it tends to leave the jacksie open for well-aimed boots. Thus far, she and the party have been lucky in that the boots have been flailing in the other side of the ruck with the inexperience of the Nats tight five clearly being put on show.

And that takes us across the street to the Jonkey's lot. They had a party last weekend, with much back-slapping and pre-match ra-ra-ing in the hutch. Trouble was that a weasel got into the hen-house and several of the roosters got bitten. Great series of stories for TV3 - whoever their informant might be.

On this last point, this is the one thing about NZ politics of which I have a serious dislike. I have been pointing the bone in recent times at the US Presidential race, and in particular some of the more dishonest (as I see it) tactics being used by both sides. It is shaping up little different here as well. Last time it was the Exclusive Brethren and their relationship with Brash Donnie that lost the election for the Nats, and resulted in the ignominious disappearance from the scene of Donnie himself.

This time around, the Nats are being very careful to NOT release any policy. That way, they can not be accused of having been given a mandate to do "A" when they end up in government and do "B" (the exact opposite to "A"). Oh, the lollies are already under the Christmas Tree. We can see the packet, but at the moment it is still in the plain brown wrapper so we can't tell at the moment whether we are being offered toffees, acid drops, or condoms.

Some of the other presents have been half unwrapped:

Like the half billion dollar broadband implementation. Will I see that in Opo? Not likely. Most up there use cell-phones rather than landlines so the minimum 500 line exchange probably does not exist.

Like the multi-billion dollar investment in "infrastructure". Well I mean to say... what the F*** is "infrastructure" when a politician uses the word. I suspect it likely means the same as "restructuring" in Iraq - a snack-line for the buddies, servings in direct proportion to their party contributions.

But the most entertaining, the most enterprising of the lot, is some young wally who bought his way into the Party and proceeded to "interview" some of the hats who were floating around. What he asked was quite "innocent", relating to the three major points of difference between Nats and Labs; nuclear issues, family support, and the sale of public corporations. Three of the senior hats (so far) have ended up on TV3 as a result. Quite embarrassingly so in the case of the Englishman. Flustered rustlings of secret papers in the wings behind the Jonkey as he heehawed his way through an on-the-spot interview.

Amazing what can be done these days through the medium of the humble cellphone.