SOUTH CHARLESTON - A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.
Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyser test.
As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.
Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.
"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.
He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.
Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.
Perhaps Patrolman T.E. Parsons might like to come share lunch with the factory workers here. A good feed of taro the night before does wonders for the digestive tract, but can make one somewhat unpopular. A few days might be enough to get him sufficiently desensitised...
It sounds more to me like Patrolman T.E. Parsons had gotten himself up on the wrong side of the bed, or perhaps his liver was acting up again... Whatever the cause, there would be a simple solution - shut the guy in an unventilated cell for a few hours then give him a cigarette and a lighter and shut the door... :)
It strikes me too, how the good old Anglo Saxon word "fart" has been euphemised to "passing gas" and similar. Come on, a fart is a fart, always has been, always will.